Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Missing Allegra.

I am not sinking into the depths of despair, but I do have large moments of time that I could so easily be there.  I miss my little collie girl so very much.  To look at me, or to talk with me, one would think I was doing just fine.  Yet, several times during the days & nights, my eyes fill with tears, I cry silently...or break down completely & sob.  

I wrote down my thoughts.

Without You
My breaths are filled with sadness.
My pillows are tear-soaked.
The house seems so much larger.
The days so much more quiet.
There is a huge hole in my heart.
An emptiness that cannot be filled.
It's as if part of me went with you. 
Because...
I feel no nudges from your petite collie nose.
I see no expectant looks or wagging tail.
I hear no welcome home bark, no story of your day.
I have no tiny feet to trim, no beautiful long coat to groom.
I miss your warm body across my feet as I awaken.
The sun no longer shines just for you.


Oh, how I miss you, my baby girl, my Princess, my woo-woo girl.  

My Allegra.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful and now you have succeeded in making me cry at work! Joyce

kks said...

what a beautiful tribute to your "princess"....
xoxo

WoolenSails said...

It is so hard when a pet touches us in a way that their absence leaves an emptiness in our lives. It is hard and a long road, but you will get to the point where you can see things that remind you of her and a smile will replace the tears.

Big Hugs,
Debbie

ShabbySheep said...

Jacque, I'm so sorry for the sadness you are having to go through. You'll be in my thoughts. xoxo

TamboinMO said...

Jacque,
You're making me cry. I feel your pain....I know how empty your house must be with just you and Tag....I felt this way for months after Big Truvy passed away and still have those moments from time to time.
Some dogs just touch us more than others.

Joanne said...

Jacque - I have no words - just a big hug for you knowing what you are going through. Take care

Alice ~ Folk Art Primitives said...

Hang in there, Jacque ~ we love those 4-legged pals, don't we! Happy Thanksgiving!

Lindy said...

I know what you feel.....sometimes we get dogs/pets that touch our soul....

Rugs and Pugs said...

Jacque ~
No words can ease the pain. What a beautiful tribute to your Allegra! She was so lucky to have been in your life.
Lauren

dexmangoldens said...

I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out cuz I miss her too. I have a picture of her and Manley when he was just a pup and she is putting him in his place----far below her 'princess' status. :)
When I see a beautiful sunset I always think of the picture you have up again and think about moments with her.
I know you really miss her even though you put on a brave front. I know what's in your heart.
Love You.

JoJo said...

Jacque, every so often, we have a furry child who really touches our heart and is so firmly entrenched in our soul that to say that we grieve for them is such an understatement. There are simply no words to describe the depths of our feelings.
As much as I love ALL of my cats, several are so special in their own way. Squeegee died from tongue cancer just two months before my mother passed away. Squeegee was the love of my life and of Gerry's....such a special Siamese who never knew he was a cat. He truly thought he was human but yet would play fetch like a dog and get into really strange places like a mischievous cat.
For months, I thought I'd go crazy with grief. Even now, after six years, whenever we talk about himj, I cry. So I very much understand how you're feeling now that Allegra has gone 'home.'
I believe that God takes his creatures home to heaven so we can take some small measure of comfort in knowing that we'll see them again. The anticipation of seeing the joy in their faces, and ours, when we see them again takes much of the sting from death.
Remind yourself of the friends you have, both in person and here, who love you, grieve with you and wish we could help you muddle through to the time when the sharp pain of freshness fades to gentle sorrow.
I love you, Jacque, and offer a gentle hug of shared tears.
JoJo

Nanci said...

Oh how I feel your pain! I have been following you here and know in your writings that you miss here terribly.
As I said I had an english cocker who, after 3 years still brings me to tears and sometimes sobs just emit from me.
It's good to grieve about this...I had to see the doctor about my sweet Rusty...

Susan said...

Jacque,

I'm so sorry to read about Allegra. She was such a beautiful girl. No matter how long we have them, it's never long enough. I know how you must be feeling having lost my Madison earlier this year.

My heart goes out to you.

Susan

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