Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday.  He would have been 83 years old.  I say 'would have', because he died when he was 51.  He died 32 years ago.  That's a really long time ago...a long time to be without a Dad.  To say that I miss him...well, that doesn't even begin to describe what I feel.  I miss him for what I have missed out on.  I miss him for what he has missed out on.  I miss him for how our lives changed...for what we didn't have.  Dad.  Grandpa. 

I had the first boys in the family.  My dad was so excited that he had grandsons!  Matt and Paul were 1 & 3 when their Grandpa died.  I think of what they missed by not having him in their lives as they grew up.  The relationship they would have had with him.  The balls they would have thrown and the football games they would have watched.  The fish they would have caught.  The building/fixing things they would have done together.  The influence.  The 'guy' jokes between them.  Ya know...guy things.

I was 26 when I no longer had a Dad.  It was really tough.  We used to argue a lot.  True.  He would argue with me.  From the time I was a toddler...instead of just laying down the law (or whatever), he would argue with me about whatever it was I wanted or didn't want to do.  That never changed.    

Dad took us fishing on Saturday mornings...back when we girls were young.  I loved it when it was just the two of us.  We'd get up before the crack of dawn and get on the road.  Sitting in the boat with my dad was heaven on earth.  I LOVED fishing with him.  Just cuz.  

This is one of my favorite photos of my Dad and I.  Because it was a big day in my life, (though that life is no longer mine).  Look at our smiles to each other...I'm so happy that the moment was caught on camera.

 There is so much more that I could say, but I cannot.  Just that I sure wish my Dad was still here with us.